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Songs

by Matt Van Winkle

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1.
For the first time in a long time I see my corn growing all in a row New York winter went below the line I saw ice on my window. I guess you heard it all before, Don't wanna hear it anymore. You better call a spade a spade, or call a cab. One of these nights, if I don't get it right, You're gonna find me cold on a slab. I guess it's nothing new, my feeling so blue. But there's nothing new under the sun. I been readin', I been writin', I been tryin' to get through. Gettin' through's a job that's never done. But just a little bit of work, and it'll all be over. Nothing to attack, nothing to defend. And from now on, you just depend upon how well you know your friends. Looks like you can never stop fucking up for yourself. Looks like you can never stop. Oh, yes, I checked his wallet when he died. Turns out his name really was "Captain Kirk". In a minute or two now, we're gonna have to divide His possessions, his shoes, his shirt. But just a little bit of work, and it'll all be over. Nothing to attack, nothing to defend. And from now on, you just depend upon how well you know your friends.
2.
For Julie 03:00
There's a girl the place I'm going There's a girl the place I've left I am sailing on the ocean Fill my sails with your hot breath. In Singapore is a high tower I'll be scrambling down the stones But we still have another hour For you to see what hot breath's blown. A man is dying, cold and lonesome. Shadows are lifting with the sun. I am leaving on the ocean. Now you see what hot breath's done. I'm sorry for your trouble, Lady. So I'll go and come no more. Though your hot breath threatens to delay me I heed the call of the golden moidore. I sold my fur coat in an alley For a wind to push me South But my shame is riding in the galley, For I love her dirty mouth.
3.
The Admiral 04:13
"My mother was a lady, like yours you will allow. And you might have a sister who needs protection now. I've come to this great city to find my brother dear, And you wouldn't disrespect me sir, if the Admiral were here." When the Admiral arrives, men put away their knives And cast their eyes at the ground. And you can't attack, and you can't relax When the Admiral comes around. "I never should'a touched her. I should'a listened to my Dad. I wasn't thinkin' proper — now things have turned so bad. I've come to this here barroom, I've ordered up a beer, And you wouldn't talk to me that way if the Admiral were here." When the Admiral arrives, men put away their knives And cast their eyes at the ground. And you can't attack, and you can't relax When the Admiral comes around. "Oh, please don't say you're sorry for what you can't retract. You danced with that young sailor and you cannot dance it back. I've found the empty bottle — I hope it took him more than that. And there's gonna be some hell to pay, when the Admiral gets back." When the Admiral arrives, men put away their knives And cast their eyes at the ground. And you can't attack, and you can't relax When the Admiral comes around.
4.
You asked me to come down and meet you Halfway between a nightmare and dream I brought 12 new lawyers to beat you They could prove that you'd sinned I thought I had you pinned But you cried — and then, so did I. I say too much, and you say too little. Somethin' bout love makes me soft in the middle. I'm beginning to feel like my heart's been misplaced. 'Coz I feel more and more like a goddamn disgrace. You're not a boat on the ocean You've been twisted and fed all of your life You're not a slave to devotion But if you still need a man, I will make you my wife. I took you back just to prove I could do it While you secretly laughed, 'cos I'd lost and you knew it And to reward my forgiveness, you tickled my face With the brush as you painted, "Here's a Goddamn Disgrace". You're not a very good liar. It's just that you've been believed every time you've deceived. You're not impervious to fire, It's just you still haven't learned how flesh smells when it burns. Come on, take your turn. "I see you in a cheap suit," said the reader of palms, "Laid out in your death box out in the back lawn, And a woman in red just walking away From the stone that reads 'HERE LIES A GODDAMN DISGRACE'." I say too much, and you say too little. Somethin' bout love makes me soft in the middle. I'm beginning to feel like my heart's been misplaced. 'Coz I feel more and more like a goddamn disgrace. Oh my God, Oh my God, I'm a goddamn disgrace.
5.
Catherine 02:10
Catherine, don't deny me when I say "je vous embrasse". Don't deny me when I try to kiss your pretty face. Oh, Catherine — don't be shy then. If the others have gone to lie down 'neath the shady willow tree Je sui pauvre, Catherine, If you won't turn to me. Oh, Catherine — don't be shy then. It becomes you, but this night is no place to be shy. Sweet shrinking violet In the sweet by—and-y. Catherine, don't deny me when I saw to you "j'ai faim" Not when I see in your eyes, You're as hungry as I am. Oh, Catherine — don't be shy then. Oh, Catherine — don't be shy then.
6.
Do You Know? 02:57
Do you know how to love somebody, Do you know how to love somebody, Do you know how to love somebody who doesn't know the Lord? Flowers in a basket on the avenue Cigarette butts and mismatched shoes If you can't find a blanket, use the Daily News. Lord, Lord, Lord. Do you know? (Yes I know.) Do you know? (Yes I know.) Do you know? (Yes I know how to love my brother — but what of the others?) Do you know how to love somebody, Do you know how to love somebody, Do you know how to love somebody who doesn't know the Lord? I'm closin' down the circus 'cos the lions are tame Checkin' into hotels, forgettin' my name With the innocent look of the guilty insane, Lord, lord, lord. Do you know? (Yes I know.) Do you know? (Yes I know.) Do you know? (Yes I know how to love my brother — but what of the others?) Do you know how to love somebody, Do you know how to love somebody, Do you know how to love somebody who doesn't know the Lord? I'm lookin' for a man they call "Little Boots" Who ate a poison flower, petals and roots. Now he's makin' a living selling knockoff suits. Lord, lord, lord. Do you know? (Yes I know.) Do you know? (Yes I know.) Do you know? (Yes I know how to love my brother — but what of the others?) Do you know how to love somebody, Do you know how to love somebody, Do you know how to love somebody who doesn't know the Lord?
7.
You know that there were days when I would hate the world and the people in it. An hour's anger pressed into a minute kept me from living a sweet, good life. Darling, I know you will recall the spite that from my lips shot forth And other times I did not speak a word when I alone could not break my fall. I found another way in, because I put my faith in Him. He's awake when I'm asleep, and it's He that I will serve, And you're the one I don't deserve, that He lets me keep. Darling I know, I know that you recall the spite my lips shot forth And other times I would not speak a word, when there was no one there to hear but you. I found another way in, because I put my faith in Him. He's awake when I'm asleep, and it's He that I will serve, And you're the one I don't deserve, that He lets me keep.
8.
Gospel 04:48
The lepers went hungry in the place I was born And the priests threw stones 'til every woman mourned. I looked up to Heaven, and cried "Things must improve!" And a drunken voice cried back, "That's what I'm saying to you." I looked for answers on Truth Street; it was paved with lies. The tramp said, "Get rich". The whore said, "Get wise. You know the myth of a Heaven for all the good souls Is an age-old game, and it's called Crowd Control." So I went door to door with my therapy. Soon the women behind them started coming to me. I soon figured out that to meet their demands I'd have to put more than wood 'neath these carpenter's hands. When she finally reached me, she was one of the throng. I'd seen her crawl away from Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. She said, "I won't let you go, 'til your blessing is mine." So I shut my green eyes, and I took my sweet time. When we met on the pretext of a bottle of wine, Though the tavern was smokey, her eyes were bright. I stood naked on the table — "This is my body!" I cried. And she followed the bouncer to where he dropped me outside. I stared up at her. She smiled down at me, And said, "Christ, you just took me too literally. You'll have to die to find out the soul never goes home. Death's a ring at the end of a short string of bone." And of all that I taught, remember this: It's not always a lover who brings you a kiss, And if you live with a hammer, you die with a nail, With your women in tears, and your name up for sale. Her face caught my eye as I was nailed to the tree, And I thought, "Well, we always knew it would be you or me." And I knew what she needed, but I could not provide With nails in my hands and a sword in my side. I knew what she needed, but I could not provide With nails in my hands and a sword in my side.

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released September 1, 2006

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